Something strange has been happening to me while I’m out shopping lately.
Me: “Oh, that’s nice.” Picks it up. Checks it out.
Elderly person standing next to me: Checking out same piece of clothing.
Me: Throws item down and moves on.
Me: “I like these shoes, they look comfy.”
Elderly person standing next to me: Checking out same darn shoes or, wearing said darn shoes.
Me: Throws shoe down like it has burned my hand.
Me: Either I’m getting older or –
Elderly person: “Uh-huh …”
Me: “Oh be quiet! And, why are you following me?”